BULL (The Buck Boys Heroes Book 1) Read online

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Trina

  I glance down at my phone and the voicemail notification that has popped up on the screen.

  It’s from Graham.

  It arrived more than two hours ago, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to it.

  I can’t.

  After I got back to my apartment, I flung myself onto my bed and cried. I wept for the pain that I saw on Mr. Abdon’s face. But, most of all, I sobbed because Graham has lived through so much.

  There’s no way I could have known that he grew up in such turmoil.

  My heart breaks for the boy he was. At the same time, I’m proud of the man he’s become.

  I roll over and stare out into the darkness beyond my bedroom window.

  I used to feel content here.

  At one time, this apartment was a symbol of the life I wanted.

  I craved the independence that living alone in Manhattan gave me. I celebrated the fact that I’d landed a job all on my own, and I welcomed the chance to get to know the men I’d date.

  I don’t want that life anymore.

  I want the life that I had with Graham.

  It’s not the penthouse I desire or the diamond earrings. It’s the moments when he’d look into my eyes or touch me. It was the sound of his laughter and the way he tried to make me as comfortable as he could there.

  I felt at home in that vast penthouse because he was there.

  A sob escapes me as I think about what I’ve lost.

  I can’t make him choose between Lloyd and me, and I know that there’s no way Mr. Abdon will remain a part of Graham’s life if I’m his wife.

  I have to follow through with the divorce.

  I rub a hand over my forehead.

  I’ll still be Trina Shaw when this is over, even though I now wish that I had changed my surname to Locke so I could have been Trina Locke even for a brief moment in time.

  I move to sit up just as I hear a soft knock on my apartment door.

  I want Graham to be on the other side of it. I want him to scoop me into his arms and tell me that we’ll get through this together, but I doubt it’s him.

  He hasn’t tried to call or text me other than the brief voicemail he left me hours ago.

  I can’t blame him for giving up. I didn’t respond to him.

  It breaks my heart to think that he must feel as though I’ve abandoned him just as so many people have.

  The person at my door knocks harder.

  I swing my legs over the side of the bed and push up until I’m standing.

  Straightening the front of my blouse and skirt, I walk out of my bedroom, just as an even louder knock sounds through my apartment.

  I swing open the door.

  “Trina, I don’t feel well,” Aurora mutters before she tumbles forward and into my arms.

  “I’m feeling better,” Aurora whispers. “It’s probably just food poisoning. I had take-out tonight. Maybe that’s what it is.”

  I lead her through the sliding doors of the emergency department at Lennox Hill Hospital.

  After she showed up at my apartment door and almost fainted, I sat her on my couch with a glass of water.

  She felt nauseous as soon as she had a sip. As she ran to my bathroom, I ordered an Uber, and we headed out together.

  My sister, Shirley, had food poisoning once and ended up in the hospital for three days. Being proactive can’t hurt. If anything, a doctor can give Aurora something to calm her stomach enough that she can at least keep fluids in.

  “I can call Eldon and your parents,” I offer as we approach the reception desk. “Do you want me to do that?”

  “My folks are driving home from a wedding in Indiana. They’re sightseeing along the way. They won’t be back for another two days.” She glances at me. “Let’s wait to call Eldon. His shift ends in a couple of hours. I don’t want him to think he has to rush here because I have a stomach ache.”

  I offer her a smile. “We’ll wait.”

  “If you need to be somewhere, I can wait alone.”

  The only place I need to be is in my bed crying my eyes out.

  I squeeze her hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Thank you for this, Trina.”

  “Anything for you.” I pull her into a side embrace. “I’m here for as long as you need me.”

  I mean it.

  My life may be in tattered ruins right now, but I will stay in this hospital for as long as Aurora needs me to. Maybe by the time she’s discharged, I will have figured out what my next step should be.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Graham

  “I’m Dr. Morgan.” The man standing in front of me extends a hand. “Gaines Morgan.”

  I take his hand in mine. “Graham Locke. It’s good to meet you.”

  I glance past him to where Lloyd is resting. He’s been transferred to the cardiac care unit. The doctor in the emergency department assured me that Lloyd would be in the hands of one of the best cardiologists in the city.

  I assume I’m talking to him.

  “Is this the end?” I blurt out. “He told me he doesn’t have long to live. Will I get a few minutes with him to say goodbye?”

  Dr. Morgan rubs a hand over his chin. “Lloyd told me the same thing. He’s mistaken.”

  Shaking my head, I try and absorb what he just said. “I don’t understand.”

  “I spoke with his cardiologist in Paris.”

  “You did?”

  “Briefly.” He chuckles. “I got him out of bed. He happens to be an old friend of a friend.”

  I rake a hand through my hair. “What did he tell you?”

  He crosses his arms over his chest. “One of the arteries in Lloyd’s heart has narrowed. To repair that, we need to insert a cardiac stent in the artery. That will open it and allow the blood to flow freely.”

  I move slightly to the left to get a better view of Lloyd. “He knew that before he left Paris?”

  “He’s known that for some time.”

  “Why was he waiting to have it done?” I try and make sense of it all. “It’s a fairly straightforward procedure, isn’t it? The mother of a friend of mine had it done a few years ago.”

  “It’s very straightforward.”

  “What the hell?” I fist my hands at my sides. “I’m missing something here. He told me his heart wasn’t going to last much longer. He made it sound as though he had only a few months to live.”

  Dr. Morgan’s hand jumps to my shoulder. “Lloyd believes all of that. He didn’t hear it from a doctor. His heart is telling him that.”

  I shake my head. “What?”

  “Mr. Abdon has a broken heart.” He lowers his voice. “I’ve seen this before. It’s not uncommon after devastating losses.”

  I swallow to contain my emotion. “His wife’s death…”

  “Has been more than he can bear,” he goes on, “Lloyd doesn’t feel hopeful. He is in deep emotional pain, and to him, even this simple procedure seems unnecessary.”

  “He wants to die?”

  He steps back. “It’s not a conscious decision. He’s given up. He’s experiencing a level of grief that is impossible for most people to grasp.”

  I silently curse myself for not seeing this. I didn’t comprehend the depth of Lloyd’s struggle after Sela’s death.

  “He was distraught before I sedated him,” he goes on, “Lloyd wanted out of here so he could get to the scattering garden before sunset. I told him the sun had set hours ago, but he wanted me to call him a car to take him to New Jersey.”

  I stare at him. “He wanted to go to New Jersey?”

  “To the memorial park,” he says it as though I’m completely aware of what the hell he’s talking about. “My grandfather is in that same scattering garden. It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?”

  After Sela’s funeral, Lloyd explained that she wanted her ashes spread in a special spot. She also wanted to live out their last days in Paris. They never had t
ime to make that a reality, which is why Lloyd was insistent on moving to France. He told me he wanted to make her wish come true. I assumed that’s where he spread her ashes.

  I take a stab in the dark. “Sela is there too.”

  He nods. “And LJ. I can’t fathom the pain of losing a child. Lloyd spoke about his son with such reverence and grace. He sounds like he was an amazing young man.”

  “What’s our next step?” I ask Dr. Morgan when he comes back into Lloyd’s room.

  Another doctor called him out into the corridor, but he assured me with a pat on my back that he’d be back within ten minutes.

  A glance at my watch tells me he’s a man of his word. Only eight minutes have passed.

  I’ve spent every second of those eight minutes at Lloyd’s bedside watching him sleep, trying to make sense of the fact that he had a son. He has never once mentioned LJ to me.

  “I want to get that stent in his heart,” he says clearly. “I need his permission for that, so once the sedation wears off, I’ll have another go at him. I’m a persuasive bastard. I’m confident we’ll get it done today.”

  I let out a chuckle. “You seem like the man for the job.”

  He nods.

  “I wasn’t around when he was brought in.” I blow out a breath. “The doorman…a friend, Eugene, was with him. I’m not clear on what was happening. Was Lloyd in pain? Was he having trouble breathing?”

  He looks over to where Lloyd is still asleep. “I think the weight of his grief got the best of him today. His blood pressure spiked. His blood sugar was low. It was a combination of a few things.”

  “I see.”

  “Fate may have played a hand in it too.”

  “Fate?” I raise my chin. “How so?”

  “After speaking with Lloyd, I got the sense he would have ignored his heart issues indefinitely. What happened today was his saving grace. I’m going to do everything in my power to get that stent in before he walks out of here. With some healthy diet habits and an exercise regime, I believe Lloyd has many good years left.”

  “You’re serious?”

  Dr. Morgan smiles. “Grief therapy can help him tremendously but let’s take this one step at a time. He’ll be awake in a few hours. I’ll be back to work my charm.”

  I reach to shake his hand. “Thank you. I can’t thank you enough.”

  “He has a good heart.” He pats the center of his chest. “It may need some work now, but fundamentally with some patience, love, and attention, Mr. Abdon can get through this. I’ll do my part.”

  “And I’ll do mine,” I say because I will.

  I’m going to help Lloyd find a path out of his grief, and I’m going to find my wife. I need her. I want her, and I have to figure out why the hell Lloyd had her wedding rings.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  Trina

  “How are you doing?” Dr. Gavin Fuller walks into the exam room with a smile on his face.

  We’ve been in the emergency department for almost two hours.

  Dr. Fuller greeted Aurora as soon as we were brought to this room. He introduced himself and explained that he wanted to hook her up to intravenous fluids. He told us that his concern was that she was becoming dehydrated.

  Since then, blood has been drawn, and a nurse came in to ask Aurora a variety of questions related to her medical history.

  I tried to excuse myself, but Aurora insisted that I stay.

  I was happy to.

  Sitting next to her, telling her stories about my siblings and the bakery has kept her smiling.

  “I’m tired,” Aurora admits. “Can I go home?”

  “Soon.” He glances at me. “How about you? How are you?”

  He’s a handsome guy, and before I was married, I’d flirt shamelessly with him, but my heart belongs to only one man.

  “I’m good.” I shift my gaze to Aurora. “I’m concerned for Aurora. She almost fainted in my arms tonight.”

  I told the nurse that story earlier.

  He typed something into the tablet in his hand and thanked me for the extra details.

  I have no idea if he was being polite or if that bit of information was important.

  Dr. Fuller looks at the tablet he’s holding. “I have your blood tests results, Ms. Salik.”

  “It’s Aurora,” she insists. “Please call me that.”

  “Aurora,” he repeats her name with a grin. “I want to double back to something before I share the results.”

  “I can wait outside.” I point to the corridor outside the room. “I’ll try calling Eldon again.”

  I’ve left two voicemail messages so far for Aurora’s boyfriend. I was calm as I explained that we’re at Lennox Hill Hospital because Aurora thinks she has food poisoning.

  It wasn’t an official diagnosis, but I didn’t want to leave a message with fewer details than that because I don’t want Eldon to panic.

  “Please stay.” Aurora reaches for my hand. “I’m sure it’s just food poisoning, but I’d like you here with me.”

  I nod. “I won’t go anywhere.”

  Dr. Fuller rubs his chin. “You told the nurse that your last period was a few weeks ago. Is that right? Was it lighter than normal? Shorter?”

  My heart beats faster.

  I know exactly where this is headed.

  How did I not see this at my apartment when Aurora ran off to the bathroom?

  “I don’t know how that relates to food poisoning.” Aurora shrugs.

  Dr. Fuller steals a glance at me. I see the smile on his face.

  “Humor me, Aurora.”

  She barks out a laugh. “You’re the doctor, so okay. I don’t keep close track of my cycle, but I think it was three weeks ago. It might have been four, or…”

  “More?” he interrupts.

  She nods. “It could have been. Work is busy, and I haven’t told anyone, but I’m going to apply to nursing school.”

  My hand leaps to my mouth. “Aurora, that’s incredible.”

  “I don’t have what it takes to be a doctor.” She turns to Dr. Fuller. “I know I’ll make a great nurse, though. I’m compassionate. I’m kind. The sight of blood doesn’t make me squeamish.”

  The doctor tilts his head as a grin ghosts his mouth. “You’re also pregnant.”

  Aurora’s head snaps in my direction before she turns back to look at him. “Say again, please.”

  “You’re pregnant, Aurora,” he says softly. “Almost eight weeks pregnant. Congratulations.”

  Tears fill her eyes, falling onto her cheeks. “I’m going to be a mom and a nurse?”

  I squeeze her hand. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for me,” she says excitedly. “We weren’t trying. We’re careful. I’m on the pill.”

  “Without any other protection, there’s always a slim chance of pregnancy when you’re on oral birth control.” Dr. Fuller types something into his tablet. “The nausea is part of the first trimester fun. It should pass as your pregnancy progresses.”

  “I need vitamins.” Aurora taps her forehead. “One of my co-workers is pregnant, and she’s taking special vitamins.”

  “We’ll get that all sorted.” Dr. Fuller pats her hand. “I’ll be back shortly to talk about prenatal care and to get you set up with an obstetrician.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” she says as he turns to leave.

  He glances over his shoulder. “I’m honored I could share this news with you, Aurora. I wish you and your husband nothing but the best. His name is Eldon, right? I heard you mention his name to your friend.”

  Boyfriend,” Aurora corrects her. “Eldon is my boyfriend.”

  I’m about to blurt out that he’ll soon be her fiancé, but I don’t. I look down at my bare ring finger.

  This morning I had a husband. Now, I have an ache in my chest that I’ve carried with me since I left the penthouse. Something tells me it will always be there.

  I make my way to the doors of the emergency department as soon as Eld
on sends me a text telling me he’s arrived.

  He barges in as the sliding glass doors part for his arrival.

  Wearing his police uniform and with a stoic expression on his face, he looks imposing.

  I know he’s scared.

  In mere moments he’ll be on cloud nine, knowing that the woman he adores and wants to marry is expecting their first child.

  “Trina!” he calls my name as he rushes toward me. “Where’s Aurora? How is she feeling?”

  “She’s in an exam room.” I point in the direction of the corridor I just came from. “She’s good, Eldon. She’s going to be so happy to see you.”

  “I’ve been worried sick,” he admits. “I could kick myself for not texting you when I saw your first message. I thought it was about her birthday and the card Asher was signing. I was busy. I assumed it could all wait.”

  “You’re here now.” I smile. “Go to her. I’m going to wait out here.”

  “What room is she in?”

  I glance toward the corridor again, but something catches my eye. It’s a person. A man with graying hair raises his hand in greeting.

  “Trina?” Eldon questions. “Are you all right?”

  “I see someone I know,” I whisper. “I hope he’s okay.”

  “I’ll find Aurora,” Eldon says before taking off toward the corridor. “You check on your friend.”

  As he sprints away, I stare at the man in the doorman’s uniform who is approaching me.

  “Eugene?”

  “Mrs. Locke.” He smiles. “You’re here for Mr. Locke, aren’t you?”

  Panic darts through me as I scan the faces in the waiting room in search of my husband’s. “Graham? Where is he? What’s wrong?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. No, no, it’s not Mr. Locke. It’s Mr. Abdon. They’ve admitted him to the cardiac care unit. Mr. Locke is with him now. I assumed you came to be with him. He’s pretty shaken up.”