Pulse - Part Two Read online

  "I've been waiting downstairs for her." She thumps her fist into the door again. "She never came down. Let me in."

  I reach around him to yank the door open. He acquiesces without uttering a word.

  "Jess." Mascara is running down her face. "What are you still doing here?"

  "She was in the bathroom," he offers, his hand pressing against the bottom of my back.

  "Let's go." She reaches for my hand and I grab it, squeezing it within my own. "I'm sorry you had to meet that asshole," she mutters as she pulls me towards the elevator.

  Right now, in this moment, I'm sorry I met him too.

  Chapter 3

  "I need to cut back your hours, Jess." Cassandra ties a patterned scarf around her neck. "I just can't afford this anymore."

  I take a deep breath. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been four days since I followed her out of Nathan's apartment and now she's finally going to confront me. She must know that I'm the woman he was talking about. Wait. Am I the woman he was talking about? Maybe there was another woman he was fucking. He has a suite just for random sex. I can't shoulder all the blame for their broken relationship.

  "Okay," I offer. What am I supposed to say when she's essentially telling me that my dream job is no more? Add to that the fact that I've been fucking her estranged boyfriend and my life couldn't get much worse.

  "I'm humiliated." She turns to face me. "I can't believe I have to say this."

  My stomach twists into a knot. She looks so worn-out. I heard her crying this morning when I got to her apartment. She misses him. I can't blame her. I miss him too.

  "Just say it," I blurt out. I just want it over with.

  "Nathan was helping me," she begins before taking a long pause. "Financially."

  I look into her green eyes and I see a cast of worry over them. "I didn't know," I mutter. I couldn't have known. He didn't tell me that part.

  "I was struggling when we met and he offered. No questions. I wanted it to be a loan, but he refused. He just gave it."

  I can't respond. What am I supposed to say to that?

  "He helped me for a few months before I asked him out. We went on a few dates." She inhales sharply. "The sex wasn't spectacular, but you can't have everything right?"

  I feel a blush course over my face. The sex is spectacular. It's beyond that.

  "I can't keep taking money from him after the other night."

  "Yes," I mutter. Of course she can't. He dumped her royally on her ass right in front of me. How can she keep taking anything from him after that?

  "I can give you two days a week." She shifts in obvious embarrassment. "If you find something better, I'll send you on your way with a great reference."

  I nod. Two days a week? It was better than nothing.

  ***

  "Is Mr. Moore in?" I quiz the gorgeous brunette sitting behind an almost bare industrial looking desk.

  "Who are you?" She pushes the question at me without even the slightest hint of pleasantness.

  "A friend."

  "No." She taps a few buttons on a phone on her desk. "Your name? What's your name?"

  "It's..." I begin before she turns her attention to the call.

  "There's a girl here." Her deliberate use of the word girl isn't lost on me. "Name?"

  "Jessica Roth."

  "Jessica Ross," she snarls into the phone. Maybe she just has a lisp.

  "Jessica." Nathan appears in the doorway of one of the many offices lining the area behind me. "What a surprise."

  I walk towards him, my heart racing. Showing up unannounced at his office was bad enough. Trying to walk on this plush carpet in stilettos was making me feel not only unbalanced but awkward too.

  "I just wanted to talk," I say wearily. It has taken all the courage I had to search for his office address, to get in a cab and to ride the elevator up, all without knowing how he'd react.

  "Inside." He motions to the doorway of a large office with a glorious view of the city.

  "I..." my voice trails as he slams the door shut behind me and pulls me into a tight embrace.

  "I didn't think you'd ever answer any of my calls or texts," he interrupts, his eyes scanning my light yellow dress. "You're a vision."

  "I came to talk about something." I look over his shoulder. It's a tactic I learned years ago when I didn't want to make eye contact with Josh.

  "I've missed you." He pushes my hair back from my shoulder.

  "No, please don't." I pull on my hair to move it back into place. "I can't see you anymore."

  "Jessica." There was a pause. "I'm sorry about the Cassandra bullshit. I didn't want you dragged into that."

  "Bullshit?" I push back from his arms. "It's not bullshit, Nathan. It's my life and it's her life."

  "You've worked for her for what, two weeks now?" He turns back towards his desk. "Quit the job and move on if it's that bad."

  "I'd rather quit you and move on," I state boldly.

  "Quit me?" He doesn't turn back to face me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "I'm not fucking you again," I say each word slowly, making sure it's loud enough that he can't question my intention. "I came here to tell you to stop calling and texting me. Leave me alone."

  He shuffles through several papers on his desk before he finally turns back towards me. "It doesn't work that way."

  "What?"

  "You can't just decide that we're done." The cocked brow that accompanies the statement is clearly meant to intimidate me. It's working.

  "This is so ridiculous." I pull a weak laugh through my lips. "You're already fucking other women. I'll be a distant memory by next week."

  He charges towards me and heaves me against the wall with his hands. "You don't know what you're talking about."

  "I know what you told me." My voice is trembling. I can hear it. He has to hear it too. "You said you were fickle and you liked different women. Don't pretend you haven't been fucking other women the entire time you and I were sleeping together."

  "That first night." His hand drops to my thigh. "When I finally got you into my bed," he whispers across my lips. "Do you remember that?"

  I nod passively. I know I should push him away. I know I should tell him to fuck off. I can't.

  "I licked you until you came all over my face." His tongue traces a pointed line across my jaw. "I've craved that taste since then."

  My pulse quickens at the mention of his lips on my body. I can't think about that now. I came here with one purpose. I need to end this before any more damage is done.

  "Then you came back and sucked me off." His hand inches higher towards my panties. "I can't stop thinking about you naked, on your knees, my cock in your mouth and you moaning because you couldn’t get enough of it."

  My body reacts and I have to take a heavy breath to stifle a moan. "That was then," I offer helplessly.

  "This is now." His finger glides across the edge of my panties. "You're so hot and wet right now."

  "No," I impulsively try and disagree. I don't want him to know what I'm feeling.

  "Jesus, you're already ready. You want me to fuck you right now, don't you?"

  "I....no...it's..." I groan as his finger slips under the fabric of my panties and across my slick cleft.

  He's on his knees before I can react, my panties pushed to the side. "I've wanted this for days."

  I bite my lip to hold back a deep, guttural moan as he claims my wetness. His tongue circles my clit before he pushes a finger along my folds. "You came here for this."

  I push my head back into the wall, closing my eyes tightly. I didn't, did I? Does it matter that I bring myself to orgasm every morning when I wake up and think about him fucking him? Does it count that I can't stop thinking about how good it felt when he came down my throat?

  "Nathan," I cry out as I near the edge already. I need to tell him to stop. I can't keep doing this with him. It's wrong. He's wrong for me.

  "You're so good. You taste so good." He pushe
s his head hungrily between my thighs as he laps up my wetness, purring into my folds. "Come, Jessica. Come now so I can fuck you."

  The promise of his beautiful, full cock inside of me pushes me into the middle of an intense orgasm. I almost cry out in pleasure but he's on his feet now, his damp lips pushed into mine, pulling my moans into his body.

  I hold onto his lapel as I feel him lift me gently and push me back onto the corner of his desk. My body is so wanting. I feel so reckless. I can't control this need.

  "I'm so hard." He pulls a condom from his desk drawer. "I'm going to come before I'm even inside your sweet little body."

  I drop to my knees before he has time to respond. I whip my tongue over the head of his cock and I'm gifted with a single drop of pre-cum. I roll it over my tongue before I pull him into my mouth.

  "Fuck. Jessica. Jesus," he hisses through his teeth. "It's too good."

  I bob my head slowly up and down, pulling the length of him into me. It's so much. I want it. I want to taste it all.

  He moves his hips in rhythm with my sucking, his hands lost in my hair, pulling at the roots as he races to the edge. "I want it to last. I can't. It's too fucking good."

  I brace myself when I feel his balls constrict under my touch. I moan deeply as he pumps himself into me, emptying every last drop.

  Chapter 4

  "We can't do that again." I adjust the neckline of my dress before I pull one of my heels back on. "I came here to end things."

  "We're going to do that again." He kneels to help me put on my other shoe. "You're not ending anything."

  "Cassandra cut my hours." I don't see any reason to keep avoiding the subject I came to his office to talk about. "She told me about the money."

  He stops and looks up at me and I see something flash over his face that I haven't before. It's softness, kindness, just something that's too fleeting to place. "She was short for a few weeks, so I helped her out."

  "There's more to it than that." I step back and slide my hands over the skirt of my dress. "She was depending on you."

  "I'll keep helping her if it helps you." The words are genuine. I know that he means them. I know he'd help me too if I asked him. I can't. I came to Manhattan to make it on my own and that's what I'm going to do.

  "I've got an interview lined up already." I did. I finally texted Drew back, the man I was talking to at the club before Nathan pulled me away from him. He's a chef at one of the best restaurants in the city and he managed to land me a meeting with someone there for a sous chef's position.

  "Where?"

  "Just a place." I don't see any reason to go into details about my life. This one night stand had gotten so far out of hand that I couldn't see any way to reel it back in other than walking away. I was getting too emotionally invested in him.

  "Jessica. Where?" He pushes my hair away from my shoulders so he can adjust the straps of my dress.

  "Axel NY," I say meekly.

  "That creep from the club works there, doesn't he?" His eyes scan my face. "You're not working there."

  "Excuse me?" I feel instantly assaulted by his words. "He's not a creep and yes, he works there."

  "Have you seen him?" he growls. "Have you seen him since that night at the club?"

  I still. I stare intently at his face. Is he fucking kidding me? Is he acting territorial over a random guy I saw once at a club who is now helping me find a job? "You're insane."

  "I'm what?" He grabs my arms.

  "You can't tell me what to do." I pull free of his grasp. "We have sex. Correction, we used to have sex."

  "We're more than that." The way he tosses the words so easily at me irks me.

  "Are we?" I push back. "Do you still have your fuck pad?"

  "My what?" he chuckles as he asks the question.

  "Do you still have that suite at the hotel that you take women to when you're going to fuck them?" I tilt my head to the left waiting for an answer that I already know.

  "That's irrelevant." He reaches to straighten his tie, the entire time his eyes are locked on me.

  "This is irrelevant." I slide my hand in the air between us. "We've gone over this too many times already. You don't own me. You don't control me. You fucked me. Just like you fuck countless other women every month."

  "Jessica." My name breezes across his lips just as I walk through his office door.

  Chapter 5

  "What's going on with you and Fingers?" Rebecca stops at the corner to wait for a passing taxi before she steps onto the uneven pavement.

  "Nothing," I call over the blare of a car horn. Midday traffic in Manhattan wasn't the perfect backdrop for any conversation, especially not one about the mutual lover I shared with Rebecca's boss.

  "You're not sleeping with him anymore?" She tosses me an evil grin and I can't help but giggle.

  "That ship has sailed." I mean the words. It's been more than a week since I walked out of Nathan's office. "I deleted his number from my phone and I haven't looked back." I have looked back. I conveniently left out the part about putting him back into my contact list. I know his number by heart. I can’t get it out of my mind.

  "Are you fucking Drew?"

  I stop mid-step and I'm almost bowled over by a group of tourists heading up Broadway. "What?"

  "The guy that got you the interview at the restaurant." She pushes her hand towards me as if the motion will spur me on. "Are you sleeping with him?"

  "I didn't realize you knew his name."

  "He's hot." She stops to adjust the strap on her shoe. "I never forget a hot guy's name."

  "I'm done with men." I push against her trying to help her balance. "I think you need a new strap on that."

  "New shoes would be better." She winks. "So are you?"

  "Am I what?" I can't follow the conversation. I'm still stuck back where she told me she knew Drew's name.

  "Fucking the chef?" She enunciates every syllable, her voice a pitch louder than everyone else on the street.

  I pull my hand to my mouth to stifle a loud laugh. "Scream it for the entire city to hear," I tease. "I'm not sleeping with anyone. I'm done with men."

  "Famous last words." She scoops her arm through mine as she pulls me across Amsterdam Ave in search of a bistro for lunch.

  ***

  "I don't even know how I got the job with zero training." I tap on Drew's chest. The two martinis I've had since we arrived at the restaurant are definitely going to my head.

  "Hunter loved you." He finishes his glass of beer.

  The fact that I got to meet the owner of Axel NY didn't hurt my chances at all. When I mentioned that I had met Ivy, Nathan's friend, his face lit right up. Apparently she was dating Hunter Reynold's cousin. Sometimes, even the smallest connection could make a world of difference in a city like New York.

  "I can't believe they offer tuition for culinary school." I almost bounce off the bar stool into Drew's lap.

  He nods as he motions to the bartender to bring another round. "That's how I got my training. I worked at another restaurant Hunter's family owns and they paid for everything."

  "I'm so excited." I empty the martini sitting in front of me in one small sip.

  "It's going to be so fun working together." He laughs as he pulls some bills from his wallet to hand to the bartender. "I think after this round I need to get you home."

  "The night is still young." This is the first time in weeks that I've felt happy. I'd start my new job at the restaurant next month, which meant I could quit working for Cassandra right away. I'd finally stop feeling awash with guilt every day I went to her apartment.

  "Are you seeing anyone?" The question feels misplaced. This wasn't supposed to be a date. We agreed on the phone that Drew would take me to my interview and then we'd go for a drink afterwards if I got the job. I wasn't interested in anyone after the never-ending one night stand fiasco with Nathan.

  "No. Why?" I wince after I ask. Why did I just ask him that?

  "Do you want to go out sometime?"
He stares straight ahead as he asks the question.

  "Are you asking me on a date?" The martini has apparently removed any filter I had. There's nothing like cutting to the chase, Jess.

  "I'd like that." He traces a path across my arm with his finger. "You're a lot of fun."

  I smile at the compliment. It's so simple and sweet. Just like him. "So are you."

  "Let's get you home."

  Chapter 6

  "Whoever you are, I'm going to kill you for forgetting your key." I swing open the door of the apartment. The incessant knocking started just as I was getting into bed.

  "Jessica." Nathan's hand is resting against the door frame, his dark hair falling casually onto his forehead. The jeans and sweater he's wearing don't match the seriousness of his expression.

  "How do you know where I live?" I start to push the door shut without thinking. I don't want him here. It's taken every ounce of strength I have not to think about him constantly.

  "Is he here?" He pushes past me into the dimly lit room. "Where is he?"

  "Bryce?" I stare at him as he shuffles through the apartment, moving quickly from room-to-room. "Why do you want to talk to my roommate?"

  "Not him." His gaze pierces through me. "That guy. Drew. Is he here?"

  I pull on the sash of my robe to tighten it. "What?" Why is he asking me about Drew?

  "He brought you here, didn't he? Where the fuck is he?"

  "How do you know that?" I spit out. Drew dropped me off ten minutes ago.

  "Did he leave, Jessica?" he says the words slowly as if I'm unable to comprehend them at a normal pace. "Is he coming back?"

  I study his face. His eyes are dark and focused and his hair a mess. "Why are you here?" I demand. "What are you doing here?"

  "Where's Drew?" he pulls on my arm so hard I wince.

  "That's not your business." I'm so confused. I don't understand why he's here. Why is he asking about Drew?

  "Like hell it's not. You were all over him at the bar."

  His words barrel into me. At the bar. He saw me with Drew at the bar? "You were spying on me." My voice cracks with the realization.